Poetry - الشعر

[منتظر النايف]

Yours! ما شاء الله.

You are talented, by the way. You have nice ideas and apparently you find a nice way to put them into words.

Yes, practice will certainly improve your writing abilities and will also polish your poetry-writing skills.

The one below is another nice piece. If you work on your spelling, you'll have far better results.

If I may reproduce it, it may read something like this:

I'm back again
In my sad room.
Oh yeh, in my room again.
locked in within four walls,
And my heavy pain
Again, one more time.
I'm living in the dark,
together with bane,
But my thoughts are still away,
They are there,
Flying like a flock of birds,
With her,
Away with her,
And I would like her to know
That things have changed.
And I'll never be me again,
I shall never cry.
I am sorry,
I feel so sorry,
I feel like I'm going to cry,
To cry again:
A part of me is still hanging away
With her,
Not me.

You see, even after I rewrote it this way, what you wrote in the first place is still more beautiful and true because you wrote it from the bottom of your heart.

What I am doing her is not correct your structure or grammar or manipulate your feelings and thoughts but rather show you how perhaps you could write if you just write and rewrite and rewrite until you think this is the best that you can come up with. You can start writing on a word document to make use of the AB spelling checker.

I have enjoyed reading your poem a lot and I feel proud that I have met someone gifted like you. Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading for you.



-----

...I have back again

...to my sad room

Oh yeh, I am room agein

whith 4walls locked door

.and my heavy bain

Agein, One more time

, I have to live the dark

.I have to see the bane

But my mind is not coming with me

It stays there

Flying like abird

!?But where

Just around her

And i would that she know

Every thing is change

even my mien

And i well never cry again

Oh, so sorry

Really I am so sorry

,Now i feel that

I am going to cry again

.And again

Because a piece of me is ther

.Not coming with me again

----

بشر يا دكتورنا العزيز عساها مقبولة معنى ومبنى. وتذكر أن أنجليزيتي ليست ولا بد .. إذ أننا نفتقد الممارسة ، وأنت تقدم لنا خدمة جليلة بأن نستعيد بعض الذي مضى، فجزاك الله عنا كل خير.

تحياتي.[/quote]